Humour, fun, playfulness and laughter usually contribute signifi cantly to the quality of life. They would enliven a community and help to relieve tensions for all involved. At times, funs cross the limits. People tease others for reasons like simple errors, foolish acts, walking style, mannerisms, physical appearance and talking pattern. Consciously or not such comments become abusive in its nature. All those present enjoy fun. There is give and take in the fun and it usually enhances the bond between people. But in abusive teasing, the abuser is doubly happy. The victims feel sad, hurt, ashamed, angry with themselves and others. Such strong emotions last an entire day or even several days. Some experiences verbal abuses as a kind of social rejection and causes increasing sensitivity towards social threats. Their higher social anxiety makes them extra cautious not to get involved with others in order to avoid possible verbal abuse. They break off relations with the abusers and isolate themselves from social activities causing poor assertiveness, and defensive silence. Repeated abusive comments would create a false-negative self-image and damage their self-esteem. Some victims blame themselves for making foolish mistakes that prompted public harassment. Christopher Mruk identifi ed such events of adverse treatment by others as ‘self-esteem moments’, since such moments leave an individual’s self-esteem at stake and make changes in their self-esteem.
Some would falsely argue that peer teasing would bring the victims some benefi ts, such as becoming conscious about their drawbacks, or correcting their behaviour. There can indeed be some reality about the matter for which one is being mocked. But since it is being attacked in public by a group, the victim fi nds it diffi cult to accept it and will not change it. But corrective measures for those errors happen only in private meetings. Since abusers mocked ictims in public, the victims usually fi nd it diffi cult to accept. When victims did not accept it, abusers continue to ridicule. Such repeated abuse incidents further damaged the self-esteem of the victims.
Sometimes the abusers continue to mock people even if they have corrected their behaviour. This meant that not all verbal abuse was intended to correct others’ weaknesses. It also indicated the inner self of the abusers. Sometimes, verbal abuse was considered to be a relaxation technique and never recognize that, by doing it, they were causing the victims pain. Such a non-empathetic attitude also reveals the less healthy self-esteem of the abusers. Thus, abuse incidents reinforce the unhealthy self-esteem of the abusers. Various studies prove that verbal abuse is displaced aggression against weaker individuals. Such displaced aggression often becomes inappropriately excessive.
As a preventive measure, empowering possible victims is an essential step. Generally, people with poor confi dence and fewer communicative skills are likely to be victimized. An increased self-awareness can help one to identify those moments of verbal abuse. If one can identify such moments and intervene
therapeutically with the help of an expert, such moments can be turned into positive ‘self-esteem moments’. An increased self-awareness and better self-assertion can help one to set aside oneself from verbal abuse. Self-awareness and self-knowledge help an individual better self-assertion. Self-assertion means standing up for oneself and one’s values and rooted in one’s self-esteem. Thus, one no’ to situations that would damage self-esteem.
In India, the general public is less aware of sensitive towards the consequences of verbal abuse. The various forms of verbal abuse generally been a part of India’s Empirical evidence proves a higher prevalence of verbal abuse in India. Therefore, awareness about it is a relevant step.
– Fr.Jo Paul Kiriyanthan